Fishing for Frod

The Bananas Punish the Beavers in Game 1 of the Annual Trader Joes Summer Softball Tournament

After a rousing nine innings of play, the Southeast "Gone Bananas" squad (named after the delectable frozen chocolaty desert) defeated the Beaverton no-names 21-15. Playing at Overlook Park, adjacent to lovely Kaiser Permanente and not far from the new Northbound Max Yellow Line, the bananas squad took an early 2-0 lead in the first inning. Beaverton quickly tied it up and the game remained competitive until the sixth inning when number 13, Chris "the fury from Missouri" Pryor, hammered an inside the park homerun into right field driving in three runs. "I was trying to get it out into right the whole game, but I kept jamming it and hitting it five hundred feet into left or into that crazy lesbian pitcher's shins," he said after the game while enjoying a spicy Cantella sausage and Coors Lite. He went 3 for 4 during the game and managed to pull a groin muscle while stretching out for putouts at first base. Stay tuned for more updates when Southeast takes on the Hollywood store (where demoted Joesians go to die) next week. Should be a blowout. GO BANANAS!!!

by the way, that ditchweed that I got from stefan (not stefan) was covered in some type of strange resin that smelled like frankensence and myrrh....I was a little spooked by it but ended up smoking it the nonetheless...so far no side effects...

and despite the fact that no rumpelstitskin from the motor booy affair was played that night by our lurching space child, the show was not ruined for me...george actually responded to my incessant requests by laughing (or scoffing -not quite sure) and then turning around to hit a joint (probably provided by stefan)...the only thing that was somewhat ruinous was how drunk I ended up getting- and the pile of crap food from the am/pm I ended up ingesting...gloryhallastoopid!!!!!....

P-Funk Report:

Eric McFadden (the young, Lenny Kravitz wannabe who is P-funk's latest Maggot Brainer guitar/mandolin player) and his All Star friends came to Dante's on Tuesday. A lame-o emo/funk/punk McFadden set was followed by playing the entire Chronic album at least twice. Chris bought a dime sack off a guy named Stefan (not to be confused with Stefan) and we hit up the phonebooth down the street. Upon our return we were greeted with the opening licks of Red Hot Mama and the stage began to fill up with funkateers. Blackbyrd McKnight and George were the only Funkadelic players. But the newbie All-Star folks knew all the songs and kept up with George just fine. I'm always shocked at how fucking tight Clinton is even stoned and cracked out and 93 years old. He can still sing, he can work a crowd like a mofo and he keeps that band wrapped so tight around his little finger it was turning purple. Clinton's daughter, the Sativa Diva, came out and spit a few verses about how much she likes smokeing weed. Her dad squinted at her approvingly with that famous goofy grin plastered on his face. Sativa's definitely got more hip-hop chops than Corey Parker, but then so do I.

Chris became obsessed with hearing Motor Booty at one point and it almost seemed to ruin the show for him. I couldn't give a fuck. Worn out by waiting till midnight for a 9:30 show to start, I had to leave with the sound of the Atomic Dog encore rocking Old Town as we boogied back across the Burnside bridge. In the middle of the bridge Chris tried to smoke another bowl and accidentally smashed his "unbreakable" pipe. We threw the remains in the Willamette and called it a night.

Tim, Sonya, Tall Eric (off camera) and I reacting to the American Idol finale:

Bhronchitis Haiku

green phlegm in my lungs
constricts the bronchial tree
left nose plugged. I wheeze.


Santa Cruz Haiku

funky little town
addicts and surfers loafing
by roller coasters


Castro District Haiku

queers with mustaches
eyeing lustful. confident,
they stroll past dildos

Hey Jonny, I don't even have your e-mail :(
But honestly, don't worry about it. I just know that you are good at building stuff...but I am entirely empathetic about being overcomitted to volunteer work, and not needing anymore or it.

At any rate, I would love your e-mail address so that I can send you info about the upcoming shows...and you should see the building, because it is pretty dope.

As for everyone else, hello!
Jaiva, it was very very good to see you at Renn Fayre...it was also good to see Jonny, Tim, and Elliot...but I hadn't seen Jaiva in many many mooons, so that was exciting.

I hope you are all doing well. I am in the process of moving, which is always insane. But I'm finally going to be living on my own. I'm very ready for solo living.

All my love,
S

Hey Jonny, I don't even have your e-mail :(
But honestly, don't worry about it. I just know that you are good at building stuff...but I am entirely empathetic about being overcomitted to volunteer work, and not needing anymore or it.

At any rate, I would love your e-mail address so that I can send you info about the upcoming shows...and you should see the building, because it is pretty dope.

As for everyone else, hello!
Jaiva, it was very very good to see you at Renn Fayre...it was also good to see Jonny, Tim, and Elliot...but I hadn't seen Jaiva in many many mooons, so that was exciting.

I hope you are all doing well. I am in the process of moving, which is always insane. But I'm finally going to be living on my own. I'm very ready for solo living.

All my love,
S