Second, let me say the Blazers do not suck. Watching the Blazers play basketball does not suck. It is in fact quite enjoyable and I recommend it to all my friends. Unfortunately, all my friends are apparently total fucking losers who punk out on me come game time. First Sonya (who was given an opportunity to see her supposedly "beloved" Seattle Supersonics including the oh-so-sexy Ray Allen [aka Jesus Shuttlesworth] but instead decided to quote-unquote "work" for a quote-unquote "living".) gives me the run-around going from "I could be persuaded" to "I'm not so sure about the game tonight" to several overheard phone conversations with Awesomer-And-More Important-Friends each of which includes the catch phrase "Yeah, I'm not so sure I'm going to the game tonight." What did Sonya do tonight instead of watching Stephon Marbury get fucking embarassed by his baby cousin, Sebastian Telfair? Something to do with Chinese Food. Next, I call Tim because I know he's all inter-employed and shit and has tons of free time and whatnot... Rejected like Dikembe Mutombo trying to dunk on Travis Outlaw. Undaunted, I trekked out alone over the Burnside Bridge past the homeless people to the Max station and on to the Rose Garden Arena all by myself. $10 bucks and I'm in. Sat in the $20 seats (gofuckyourself Paul Allen!) and enjoyed some seriously awesome basketball:
Telfair was subdued and deferential to the obscenely hot-handed Damon Stoudamire. Sebastian just has this time-bomb stink about him like you know sooner or later he's just going to explode on some team. He's the leading scorer all-time in NYC high schools. In the NBA he's lucky to get 10 pts a game. Tonight he got like 6 with 6 pts. But I guarantee you, next year, he will double his average from this year. The Youth Movement's been chilled out ever since Ruben Patterson decided to come back. Instead of Telfair, Outaw, Kryhapa, Miles, Pryzbilla we've been seeing or the older Damon, Derek Anderson, Patterson, Abdur-Rahim, Ratliff, that almost beat the Sonics two nights ago, tonight we got a healthy mix of new and old. This allowed the Stoudamire/Abdur-Rahim axis to score most of the points and carry the team, while Joel Przybilla and Travis Outlaw got a lot of good minutes to develop and learn. Przy had a solid, scrappy game with 10pts and 15 rebs. T.O. looked so sweet hit jumpers, driving to the hoop and stealing passes. Squint your eyes and he's a young Tracy McGrady. No joke. Honestly, Jesse, no bullshit, with just a little luck the Blazers will make the playoffs next year. Next fucking year. And we won't have to worry about the bullshit Lakers. I'm telling you, all of you, get in on the ground floor now because the Blazers are going to be the premier franchise in the West in the next few years. As soon as Tim Duncan's ankles give out, we're going to be right there to take the crown from San Antonio.
